2012 Resolutions

This year, is going to be one of the biggest years of my life. Our baby boy is due March 4th 2012, so our lives are going to change drastically as we become parents. Its so exciting but unnerving in away because I have no control over the year to come, or how labor will go down. So all I can do is prepare, prep, pray and handle the way I react to things. I do have health, marriage, personal goals also.  So here goes:

1. Be a good Mother.I don't know what this means exactly. I know I will be loving and a good caretaker. I hope that I do not get caught up in the exhaustion, frustration, anxiety...I know some of its not avoidable, but I want to the best that I can to stay in the moment.
2. Keep running and doing yoga.  Last year I trained for the 5k and it was one of the most amazing experiences in my life. That along with hot yoga really made me push my body and I was surprised at what I was capable of. Considering that I will  have a considerable amount of weight to lose after the baby is born, and that I want to use exercise as a way to keep my anxiety in check, this is very important to me. At some point Id like to work with a trainer, but for right now with all the transitions coming, I know I can handle the running and yoga so that's a good start for me.
3. Get a handle on my anxiety. Ugh. I have an anxiety disorder. Ive managed in the past with therapy, exercising and meds but going further in this pregnancy my panic attacks are getting more frequent. Will labor be okay? Will I fall on ice? Is it really the end of the world this year? Will my marriage stay intact? Will I be able to maintain my career? We we able to adjust well to our new budget and handle our finances with the baby?  My mind just races and races, and then the panic attacks happen :( Like I said earlier. There are things that I can control, and things that I cant. So I really have to remember that sometimes.
4. Continue to make strides in my career. Ive come so far in the past few years, and I'm so grateful. I love that Ive come so far and even received recognition twice in the past few  years. Very rewarding. There are some specific goals that I have in mind and hoping to achieve them.
5. Make amends. There are somethings that didn't turn out quite the way I had planned or hoped for. I think my anxiety had some hand in this. I'm not blaming anyone but myself...so I plan to make amends and set somethings right. I hope one day to blog about it.

Wow. Those were heavy. Honest. Extremely honest.

Now maybe for some fun goals for the year?

6. I love cooking, and  I don't do it enough, so Id like to get in the habit of trying one new recipe a week. Id also like to learn to make some more traditional Italian dishes ( my ethniticty) and some Balkan dishes that my H enjoys.
7. Be diligent with manicures and pedicures. I love a good mani and pedi and while its not an issue of cost or time, its really an issue of maintenance. I cannot stand chipped nail polish. So while this goal will be harder with all the diaper changes coming ( did I ever mention I never changed a diaper?) I would like to maintain some pretty nails.
8. Revamp my style. Wearing maternity clothes these last few months and all the changes my body will be going through, I'm wondering how my old clothes will fit. So I'm excited for the hauls to come and figuring out where I want to take my style.

So here's to the New Year. I cannot control fate (I believe in fate) or what you throw my way. But I can control how I respond and react. And I plan to do so with grace, dignity, humility and style.
Cheers to you 2012.